I am currently in the process of nagging my husband to get him to guest-post for me. I want a man's husbandly perspective about what it feels like to become "Quiverfull", what it is like to be approached by a wife with this conviction, and how to cope with it from day to day as the Lord strengthens your heart.
In the meantime, I am going to try to catch up on blogging. I've taken a small break (not consciously) and am being harassed by people to stop neglecting my blog.
Some people look at me, with my alternative schooling ideas and anti-cable attitude, and wonder when I became such a freak. I even have close friends and family that are blown away by the person I have become; and not in a good way. It makes it a lot harder to do what you think is the right thing when everyone assumes you are just being...well....weird.
People have the tendency to take a sidelong glance at anything out of their own comfort zone and stare at you as if you have two heads. Did I ever react this way to my aunt who wouldn't let her kids watch PG movies and made her daughters' skirts by hand? Um, yeah. I thought it was friggin weird. It was wayyy out of my comfort zone. Not because I wasn't a God-fearing Christian - I most certainly was. But everyone is standing on the path, partially through their walk with God, and unfortunately, we are all at a different place. My personal walk with God was not advancing; I proclaimed with my mouth what I would not in my actions. The idea of a conviction to separate yourself from the world, while I did not understand it at the time, was intimidating. I did not want to be type cast as one of those radical "christian extremists" that make everyone feel so...uncomfortable.
What do you mean, you don't let your kids play with Bratz dolls??
As time has progressed and I have moved closer to Christ, I am having an easier time accepting that these crazy things I am convicted with are for a reason. Each worldly pleasure I give up (cable, swearing, public school, family planning, whatever) is obliterating one more obstacle between Jesus and myself. I'm embracing these things that make me stand out from the world because the Lord has commanded this of us. I'm also trying to be more understanding of the people who are not quite there yet. All the friends and family that tell me I shouldn't have any more kids, or that they spend most of their day watching T.V. or arguing why public school is a necessity for my children.... I don't think they are "sinning" by not falling in line with me, but it is hurtful when they question my motives. Through my own experiences, I have learned that they do not mean to be hurtful; people who are not quite "there" yet are easily intimidated by the idea of living within confined limits.
Even just a year ago, if someone had told me that God might expect me to hand over all my plans for the perfect family and actually expect me, Abby Huskey, sanguin mom of three, to stop using hormonal birth control, I probably would have had a nervous breakdown. But then on the other hand, I know I always made excuses to myself and others for why I continued to hold on to the worldly things that I knew were no good.
"T.V. is only bad depending on what you watch," which is true. But I know that for me personally, I find it easy to zone out and spend too much time watching. And then one show bleeds into another and you end up watching something offensive because you were too zombi-fied to change the channel. Does that make T.V. (as an all-encompassing term) bad? Yes. Because even if you try to say "well, once again, T.V. is only bad depending on what you watch", can you honestly look in the mirror and say "no, that is not just an excuse because I don't want to give up my Law&Order"? If you are being honest with yourself - completely honest and not "convincing-myself-of-what-I-want-the-truth-to-be" honest, you will probably see a lot of worldly things that you can't let go of.
Now this post is not meant to be judgmental, by the definition of my peers. I am not trying to point the finger at any of my friends who watch T.V. or anything else. I don't think I am some perfect Godly oracle that has all of her ducks in a row and takes pity on you lesser beings. I just wish that at the point in my life when I felt so hesitant to turn things over to Christ that someone would have looked me in the face and said "you are holding onto these things and making excuses but God will get them eventually." It would have been a much quicker road than the one I took. Although I guess I probably wouldn't have listened, because it's hard to tell a 13-year-old who has never even kissed a boy to not cling tightly to her plans for family.
I guess what I am really trying to say is, the next time you think to yourself that someone is being a "crazy christian radical" (even if it's me.... boo) try to ask yourself if there is something there that you are having trouble giving up to Christ. There is no right or wrong answer and you don't have anyone to answer to besides the Lord.... so be honest :)
In the meantime, I am going to try to catch up on blogging. I've taken a small break (not consciously) and am being harassed by people to stop neglecting my blog.
Some people look at me, with my alternative schooling ideas and anti-cable attitude, and wonder when I became such a freak. I even have close friends and family that are blown away by the person I have become; and not in a good way. It makes it a lot harder to do what you think is the right thing when everyone assumes you are just being...well....weird.
People have the tendency to take a sidelong glance at anything out of their own comfort zone and stare at you as if you have two heads. Did I ever react this way to my aunt who wouldn't let her kids watch PG movies and made her daughters' skirts by hand? Um, yeah. I thought it was friggin weird. It was wayyy out of my comfort zone. Not because I wasn't a God-fearing Christian - I most certainly was. But everyone is standing on the path, partially through their walk with God, and unfortunately, we are all at a different place. My personal walk with God was not advancing; I proclaimed with my mouth what I would not in my actions. The idea of a conviction to separate yourself from the world, while I did not understand it at the time, was intimidating. I did not want to be type cast as one of those radical "christian extremists" that make everyone feel so...uncomfortable.
What do you mean, you don't let your kids play with Bratz dolls??
As time has progressed and I have moved closer to Christ, I am having an easier time accepting that these crazy things I am convicted with are for a reason. Each worldly pleasure I give up (cable, swearing, public school, family planning, whatever) is obliterating one more obstacle between Jesus and myself. I'm embracing these things that make me stand out from the world because the Lord has commanded this of us. I'm also trying to be more understanding of the people who are not quite there yet. All the friends and family that tell me I shouldn't have any more kids, or that they spend most of their day watching T.V. or arguing why public school is a necessity for my children.... I don't think they are "sinning" by not falling in line with me, but it is hurtful when they question my motives. Through my own experiences, I have learned that they do not mean to be hurtful; people who are not quite "there" yet are easily intimidated by the idea of living within confined limits.
Even just a year ago, if someone had told me that God might expect me to hand over all my plans for the perfect family and actually expect me, Abby Huskey, sanguin mom of three, to stop using hormonal birth control, I probably would have had a nervous breakdown. But then on the other hand, I know I always made excuses to myself and others for why I continued to hold on to the worldly things that I knew were no good.
"T.V. is only bad depending on what you watch," which is true. But I know that for me personally, I find it easy to zone out and spend too much time watching. And then one show bleeds into another and you end up watching something offensive because you were too zombi-fied to change the channel. Does that make T.V. (as an all-encompassing term) bad? Yes. Because even if you try to say "well, once again, T.V. is only bad depending on what you watch", can you honestly look in the mirror and say "no, that is not just an excuse because I don't want to give up my Law&Order"? If you are being honest with yourself - completely honest and not "convincing-myself-of-what-I-want-the-truth-to-be" honest, you will probably see a lot of worldly things that you can't let go of.
Now this post is not meant to be judgmental, by the definition of my peers. I am not trying to point the finger at any of my friends who watch T.V. or anything else. I don't think I am some perfect Godly oracle that has all of her ducks in a row and takes pity on you lesser beings. I just wish that at the point in my life when I felt so hesitant to turn things over to Christ that someone would have looked me in the face and said "you are holding onto these things and making excuses but God will get them eventually." It would have been a much quicker road than the one I took. Although I guess I probably wouldn't have listened, because it's hard to tell a 13-year-old who has never even kissed a boy to not cling tightly to her plans for family.
I guess what I am really trying to say is, the next time you think to yourself that someone is being a "crazy christian radical" (even if it's me.... boo) try to ask yourself if there is something there that you are having trouble giving up to Christ. There is no right or wrong answer and you don't have anyone to answer to besides the Lord.... so be honest :)
Were you ever able to get your husband to guest blog? Was he always in agreement with your desire to let God control your family size? Or did it take much prayer?
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