I'm mucho confuzzled.

At this point, I am unsure of what to expect. I’m mid-cycle into a pack of pills, so I’m just assuming I’m at least a few weeks from ovulating. Of course on the other hand, God is bigger than a birth control pill and really anything could happen. So what is the normal protocol when the Lord convicts you to be quiverfull? Do women usually spring for the economy size pack of pregnancy tests? Do you act as if there is no imminent baby?
It’s my “man” mind, the logical side of us all that makes us have a hard time fathoming the power of our God, that tells me we will be pregnant within a month. I have a hard time fully seeing us NOT getting pregnant right away.  So does it defeat the purpose for us to decide to follow God’s will for us to leave it up to him, yet already having decided that we are quite obviously going to have 15 kids?
We have been praying about it every night and opening ourselves to God’s will and all that he has for us, in hopes that we can settle these feelings, as many others we are concerned about.
We were recently denied a very important part of our income for this summer, and of course, my husband is fearful. It’s almost ironic that just a few days after we are convicted to trust in the Lord to provide for us, we are left wondering if my husband will have work or not. it’s very obvious why this is happening, and so I’m trying to look at it as something to focus on spiritually rather than wondering if God will bless us with a child right away.

I just wish that through all of this there was someone to talk to. We have chosen not to share this with anyone until someone starts to notice. As in, when someone says “Why did you guys get pregnant right away?” and we will feel the need to be honest, and at the very least say, “it was what God wanted.”
That justification alone would work for certain people. There would be no need to go into detail about how we came to find what God wanted, and maybe they would just assume our birth control failed. It wouldn’t matter either way, and we would not have to explain at all.
Not that I would mind explaining - I just didn’t want to go right up to people for no reason and say “guess what? We are no longer hindering what God wants from my womb! We might end up with 17 kids!!”
I’ve already been referred to as my aunt, who has 8 kids. I don’t mind that either. She has been a huge inspiration to me in the way I raise my family. Im just wondering if I will end up being compared to the Duggar family (also a huge inspiration to me). I honestly would take that as a compliment, no matter how it was meant…
But I digress. I am going to spend quite a while in prayer tonight for God to connect me with someone or maybe even a group of people that I can share with.


  1. I was talking to a lady the other day and we were talking about a family we knew who had 10 kids. She said, "wow, I can't believe it. 10 kids!" I said, "I know, it's crazy!" And then it hit me and I said, "although, we are almost there. We are going on 7!" Her eyes popped out of her head... LOL!


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